A little note

I know most people imagine me to be this badass bitch that sleeps with around

Fact is I love sex,  and I love writing about my sexual experiences. I’m not a professional writer but I love writing and reading books a lot, This blog has become a place where I could shout from the rooftops that I’m having the best sex of my life, with no implications. I’m now more attentive and rousing during sex so when I start writing something I relive those moments, it fuels my writing and I can’t wait to have sex and write the next one. I am not ashamed about having and enjoying sex.

Last Saturday

This is a diary entry....

I had an exciting weekend with my boo, Durban weather was pretty sexy, slightly cold and drizzly, perfect for staying in and fuck the whole day. My boo wanted to come over Friday night, I had to say NO, I had tons of work to get through before Monday and I knew if he came over I wouldn't be able to get any work done. I told him to go spend time with the boys. So we agreed to see each other on Saturday, he was grumpy about it but I had to put my foot down. So I worked through the night and the rest of the morning, by 10am I was so exhausted I took a 3 hr nap. I woke up refreshed and energized. I text-ed him asking where he is, he text ed back saying he will pick me up at 14H00 so we can go watch the game together, yes the Soweto Derby. So I took a long bath and poured myself a glass of wine to help me relax. I dressed up and waited for him, 15mins later we were driving to a local pub to watch the game,  It was so exciting, more so because we support the same team. Alcohol was flowing and everyone was enjoying the game, we had a pretty good time.

By 18:30 we left the pub and headed to Durban North, on the way we got something to eat and a few bottles of wine, that time I was heavily buzzed. We got to his apartment and had our dinner, finished and put on a movie and  I rested my head on his lap, I was so bored, all I wanted was to fuck. Halfway through the movie, I started teasing him by spreading my legs wide and carefully took his hand and I put his finger in my pussy, I closed my eyes and moaned softly, I was wearing a dress so my thighs were in full view, he watched my each and every move, his dick grew bigger and bigger and bigger I knew he wanted me right there and then , Our eyes met, his eyes blazing with desire. He was enjoying it, I stopped what I was doing and I climbed on top of his lap kissing him right away and he quickly undressed me and unhooked my bra so to have access to my tits and hard little nipples. He grabbed and sucked my tits licking my nipples making my freshly shaved pussy drippin wet in an instant. He was feeling my waist and my hips with his rough hands. He then roughly pulled my panties to the side and quickly put his dick inside me, it was blazing hot. I held on the back of the couch and started fucking him roughly, he didn't stop caressing me and kissing me all over, suckling my nipples and giving me a little spank. He lifted me off his dick and carried me to the bedroom; he put me on the bed, ripped my panties off and spread my legs wide. That moment I wanted his dick inside my pussy so bad, my pussy was dripping wet and hot as fuck. He lay between my legs and started licking my shaved wet pussy, licking and sucking my clit making me moan loudly, as I moaned he pushed his fingers into my pussy and fucked my pussy hard with them while licking my clit making me shiver up in pleasure pushing my pussy into his mouth as I screamed and scratched his arms and back with my nails. I came hard against his mouth and was hardly able to catch my breath and letting out screams. 

As soon as he had finished and I caught my breath and regained my ability to move, all I could think about was returning the favor  He lay back next to me kissing me so I could taste my pussy in his mouth. I crawled down his body and grabbed his dick, rock hard ready for me. I allowed a little spit to cover it to make it nice and wet for me to slip down my throat and licked every inch of his hard cock teasing him and then swallowed his whole cock down to his balls and started sucking his cock hard, wrapping my lips around his cock tightly and sucking up and down his whole length jerking my head up and down on his cock, then licking the head quickly flicking my tongue over it, licking up every drop of pre-cum so I could taste him. He pulled me up at this point knowing he was near to cumming but wanting to do so in my pussy. 
He pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me roughly pulled my legs apart and on to his shoulders as he pushed his cock inside my pussy , he pumped his cock into my thick pussy watching my face in pleasure as I thrust back into him. After a few thrusts he had opened my pussy up and he fucked me hard and fast as I grabbed on his back moaning knowing I would cum straight away. He spread my legs wide in the air and pounded my pussy hard as I came screaming his name. As soon as I had cum he flipped me over so I was on all fours and fucked me with my ass in the air and my head down he was soon moaning at the view of my ass and pussy and came hard into my pussy. After that we fell asleep in each other’s arms.


After a few hours of sleep we woke up, I was sleeping in just his t-shirt with no underwear and he was naked still. After a long morning kiss, I worked my way down to his cock, it was pretty hard already. I licked and sucked his balls putting them into my mouth while stroking his cock with my tongue his cock hardened till it was rock hard I licked it up and down teasing him flicking my tongue over the head slowly then quickly then slowly again. I then wrapped my lips around his cock tightly and started sucking it up and down jerking my head up and down , He grabbed my one hand and put it on my clit growling at me to play with myself as I sucked him. I did as he said and played with my wet clit as I sucked his long cock feeling it hit the back of my throat he growled he was going to cum, I held his cock with my hand and directed his cock at my open mouth and he shot his cum into my mouth as I licked the head of his cock licking every drop of cum up and swallowing it all. 
I then collapsed beside him and he was still shaking with pleasure, he held me so tight nearly crushing me. He kissed me and we fell asleep again. We woke up around 10am, took a quick shower and went out for breakfast.

get to know me better

I love cooking, I cook for myself and my boyfriend. He loves my cooking, he cant go a day without. Sometimes I invite friends over for a dinner party, we have good times. below is my conservative little flat where I share memories with people I love.

  

This is my small conservative flat. its nothing much but I enjoy spending time alone here.

I like TV 

When I'm bored, I play my son's PlayStation

I absolutely love reading, Its one of my fav things in the world

one of many diners

I eat healthy whenever I can

my special beef curry my bf loves so much

I stock Booze :-) whenever I can

I eat health, well Sometimes

I love hosting the ladies, I love cooking , preparing cocktails and sharing a fine bottle of wine with friends, this is one of many dinner parties I have hosted in my house. from left - Busi, Myself, Thembelihle and Lungi. 

aftermath 

Lee & Myself - Manchester United game in Moses Mabhida stadium  Durban (2012)

at work 

my big forehead, LOL

Friends Forever

I have a hard time with friendships. To be honest it's not the friendships that scare me it's the letting people into my life that freaks me out. I’m a very private person; I like to keep my personal struggles to myself. I've always been a shy girl; I’m not a good talker. You can say I’m a loner, I like my own space, I like being on my own with my own thoughts. I know it sounds creepy. The friends I keep close to my heart are ones that have gone through the hardships with me, the ones I don't have to talk to everyday or every week...even monthly for that matter. But when we do talk it's like no time has passed. The friendship I have with Busi is a very special one, which was thankfully formed through Facebook. She's the friend that you know no matter what she'll be there for you in an instant. She's the one you want to tell your deepest secrets or your embarrassing moments just so she'll make fun of you. ....but it's that kind of friendship that only the two of us can understand.

Busi

Me and Busi

BDSM

I think I speak for the majority when I say most people yearn to experience BDSM sex , It’s only natural to want to practice BDSM while pleasing that special someone you are having sex with.

submissive 

For those who don’t know what BDSM is, it’s a variety of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, etc. for instance: hand cuffing, duct tape over the mouth, tying , spanking, leashing, whipping, etc. Partners can switch roles, first there’s a “Dominant” – partner who carries out the activity, then there’s a “Submissive” – partner who receives activity. If you read “50 Shades of Grey” you would know what I’m talking about.

some of the toys you might use, found in adult shops

BDSM sex can be achieved, in my eyes there are different methods that can help you reach your goal. One method is trial and error. Yes you have to do something wrong in order to know not to do it again. A great way to find out is to have exploratory BDSM sex with your partner. Try a position, toy, restrainer or a specific spot and communicate with your partner while you are performing the act. See if he or she likes it. What can be done better? Find out as much as possible about your partner and what they like and when the time comes to have BDSM sex you have a full understanding and can be ready to please your partner.

Another method that is widely popular to use is the fantasy method. Create the fantasy from the role playing to the atmosphere. Communicate with your partner to see what they want to do for their fantasy and if you are comfortable with the demand make sure you go all out. Be very detail oriented and don’t hold nothing back. Really get into the role and watch how your partner will enjoy every minute of it and in return make it more pleasurable for you!

Last  but not least, BE IN LOVE & IN TUNE with your partner. When you truly love your partner and deeply connected, the BDSM sex will be the most intense experience of your lives... The raw passion for each other will translate into the bedroom and all the kissing, cuddling, sucking, and grabbing will be so much more intense. Just let the love and passion explode into an intense raw love making session.

Remember to create a comfortable environment and set the mood right for the occasion, if you try these things I mentioned above I promise you will experience the greatest sex of your life.

Happy Fucking!!

This shit life

At times, this world is so crooked and unfair to those who stay loyal to it because it never produces positive results. If you are decent to it, it plays you, If you do your own thing and mess around with it, it adores you, opens up and gives you all that is due to you. 
Anyway, at the end of it all, God knows why things work out the way they do, so I guess I will leave it up to the man upstairs to decide for me. they say, life is a game and you play to win, if you break the rules you get a yellow card but they should rather say, life is a road and you travel to get there, if you sleep on the way, you will miss your stop.

fuckin Awesome

Morning Glory

This is a diary entry....

Early morning sex is the best; I don’t care what you say

He was working late last night, I knew he was gonna come by my place when he knocks off work, it’s usually around 23:00. He uses his own set of keys to get in my house. I was already sleeping then.

4:00 am, my alarm went off, I snoozed. I heard him snoring softly beside me, I snoozed anyway. A while later I woke with his hand in my pajama pants, sneaking his fingers into my pussy and smoothing the bean, his other hand over the edge of  my pants, trying to pull them down without waking me up, He pushed and pushed and pushed my pants down until they were around my ankles, then with a foot he kicked them  into the crease of the sheets at the foot of the bed.

I was still half asleep, rolling my head away from the morning light beaming through the windows. I liked feeling as though I was still dreaming. Slowly, more slowly than usual, he worked his fingers in and out of my pussy, I purred like a cat, he planted a kiss at the back of my neck, I purred some more, so wet and feeling the good feelings of his fingers adoring your pussy. I lay there, with my eyes closed, my lips smiling, my legs spread wide, and my head nestled into the pillow. With his other hand he pushed my top up, exposing my hard nipples; quickly he warmed them with his tongue. Then he bit me and I cried out loud, from then I was fully awake. His bite softened and slowly he tugged on me with his teeth and I finally orgasmed around his fingers.

He then crawled under the covers and licked through my pussy juices, thoroughly flicking my bean with his tongue, my legs closed around his shoulders. Again I came. He then pushed his dick into me and pressed his weight against me, holding me, our thrusts met each other as I rolled my hips up to meet his. He thrust deep into me at an angle that teased my clit with every movement. He made love to me, sweet and slow for a couple more minutes,  then he knew I was ready to cum and he was ready to feel me clench and spasm around him, he murmured something and quickened his pace, I came first,  he held me tight , exploded and melted in my arms. We lay together for a few minutes, I felt like I was gonna faint. A few moments later I got up to get ready for work, when I came back he was in deep sleep, I kissed him and left for work.

Fantasies about #OOMF

I have fantasies about #OOMF. Mostly about having him fuck me unconscious.. I don’t think about it that often, but when I do I have a full-blown vision, down to the details of the room where it would happen – the hotel room, the bed covers and the shit.  It’s an overstated dream I know. I haven’t done it; I haven’t fucked a total stranger. But for once, at least, I want to do it. 

***

I had a dream last night, #OOMF was in my hotel room,.

I opened the door; the first thing I noticed about him is his eyes, his gentle kind eyes smiling at me. He is beautiful. We greeted each other, this is not a social visit, we are not here to get to know each other, we are not here to develop some kind of a relationship, WE ARE HERE TO FUCK!!, that's the deal,  he walked in and sat on the armchair beside the bed, I walked up to him and sat on his lap, I couldn't wait to get started, I leaned on him and kissed him, he kissed me back, he is a good kisser, he cupped my breasts, then he removed my top, I removed his shirt, carefully scanning his strappy shoulders, #OOMF is beautiful. I started stripping off the rest of my clothes, I'm a little bit tipsy, I have no shame.  he watched me intensely, I then untied his belt and took off his pants and underwear, and I kissed him gently on the mouth, we kissed for like another few minutes, then I kneeled before him, he breathed heavily because he knew what I was about to do to him,

 I grabbed his dick, my fingers curled around it, I started shaking it in a jerk off motion, then I went down on it, I carefully ran my tongue on the tip offering a pleasant hum creating the vibrations. I coated my saliva all around his cock and I tightened my lips around it, I pushed it down my throat, further down...And down...I started moving mouth on his dick up and down my throat, while stroking with my tongue and up and down my throat, I gagged, I pulled it out and put it back in, I sucked it like my life dependent on it, this carried on for a few more minutes, then suddenly  he pulled me off by the hair, avoiding to cum I think…

That moment he got up and pushed me against a wall, holds my hips, grinds his hard dick into me and fucking my mouth with his tongue. He slides his hand between my legs, and into my wet and aching pussy. Another hand is stroking my breast, fingering my nipple. I’m lost in the feelings, my cunt juices dripping from his fingers, wetting my thighs, I want more. He pushes me to the bed; His forearm across my hips holds me against the mattress. His tongue finds my clit, the fingers of his other hand slip inside. He sucks my clit until I’m woozy, until my body want to give way. The goose bumps cover my skin. I can’t think. I can only feel. I feel him everywhere, inside me, over my skin, in my head. His desire and mine are powerful together, and my body and my will are mixed up

Slowly, he picked me up and put me on the edge of the bed, he opens my legs wide, slick and steady he pushes his cock into me, watching my pussy flutter open as he does, stroking into me as I pulse around him. I’m shocked at how wet and open I am how desperately I want what he’s offering. The tension is no longer capable of holding my wetness back, the juices trickle from my pussy as his dick press deeper. I clenched around him as he pushes me closer to orgasm. I’m fucking onto him and he knows I’m ready for a rough fuck, a sharp scream escaped my lips and I came, he smiled at me, I smiled back.

He continues pounding me as he pushes me harder and harder, I keep moving my hips onto him I don’t stop. He knows I love it, he knows my body has given in completely. Expressing through sound how my body feels makes the pleasure that much more intense... the roll toward another orgasm is unstoppable. I cum hard around him, he smiled at me.

I watched him push into me, really only able to see his cock covered in my cream moving in and out. It only takes seconds for me to cum again and it’s like nothing I've ever felt before. Or so it feels. But he doesn't stop; he just keeps pushing on, pushing me, filling me. And I cum again, my ankles pressed hard into his shoulders….

I don’t remember now if he came, or how he came. I was woken up by an alarm clock…..

Project Anal

This is a diary entry......

Lately I find myself thinking about anal than ever before, I’m wondering what it’s like. I just cannot get the imagination out of my head. I know the thought is quite dirty in every way, the thought of someone pushing a dick inside my poop box is both disgusting and orgasmic. It sends shivers down my spine, both good and bad. I think the this obsession started a night before Dec 16 when I asked my boyfriend if he would ever do anal sex, at first he was adamant that he would never try it, he said he find it disgusting and gay. I was appalled, I felt the need to convince him otherwise, I explained to him that having anal sex with a woman does not in any way determines one’s sexuality, it can be very pleasurable. He seemed to understand my point . I asked him if he would like to try it with me, he said he will think about it. That’s where the anal conversation ended. We never talked about it again.

By the time December 31th rolled around, I was so ready to get “analed” that I actually started telling my friends that I’m now ready to cross that line. No shame. That night everyone made silly comments about buttholes and assholes, they will all look at me and laugh because they are used to me saying things like that, but I was serious. I needed a dick in my poop hole, I was aching for it and knew I wouldn't stop thinking about it until it happened. Of course, as the anal beginners say, anal is a journey, not a goal…

It was fairly easy to decide when the anal would take place, January the 5^th, I knew he was not working that weekend and he told me he won’t be going to the parents house as he usually does on his weekend off, so I suggested that we go out and have fun, so we went to Gateway mall for ten-pin bowling, after that we grabbed something to eat and we got drunk a little bit, the anal subject was still lurking in the back of my mind, I didn't want talk about it because I knew he might talk me out of it and then we’ll end up arguing, that would completely kill the mood. But I knew it has to be done, I was feeling hot just thinking about it, he even asked me why I’m so distracted, I told him I’m feeling very horny and I can’t wait to go home and fuck his brains out, he gave that smile that always sends me to heaven, his eyes suddenly changed and filled with lust, he put his hand on my pussy from under the table, he leaned onto me and whispered, “let’s go home my love”, I didn't ask no questions I got on my feet and was ready to go, we paid the bill and we drove home.

When we arrived at his apartment, I was a bit high from desire, slightly buzzed from the tequila shots we had and a little nervous of what was about to happen. He asked me again if I’m okay, I told him I’m perfect then I excused myself to go take a bath, he joined me 2 mins later. We finished bathing and we just lay in bed, naked. I knew I was truly in for a journey and this wouldn't just be a quickie accomplishment. He held me into his arms like a little baby and caressed me gentle, he kissed me passionately and put his fingers in my pussy, I started to moan, he shifted his body and got on top of me, his hand not leaving my pussy, he flicked my bean a couple of times and it started to throb, my moaning sounds increased, my body was building up pressure for a hell of an orgasm, I could feel it. Suddenly he stopped and started to run his tongue all the way down to my pussy, he licked the bean and pushed his tongue inside the holy hole, I grabbed on the pillows, and let out a small scream, he sucked on my bean until I gave it all up on his face. It was so intense.

At least now I let off a little bit of pressure, we continued kissing for like a few moments, he put on a condom and I switched and went on top of him, I fucked him, so hard and intense, he groaned and groaned, he grabbed on my breasts and squeezed them gently, I moaned and cussed and moaned and cussed and moaned, his dick was deep inside me and I was swaying my hips from side to side, stirring on him, while twirling and squeezing his balls, I felt another wave coming swiftly I screamed and called out his name, I came and collapsed on top of him. I was sweating as hell, he pulled me over and kissed me all over my face, he pulled his dick out of me and lay me carefully on my stomach, I thought that was the perfect time to introduce my friend “anal”, I said to him ‘baby, I want us to try anal sex’ I could feel his muscles tightening, he frowned and said ‘but why babe?’, I said ‘because I want to experience it with you, we’ll never know unless we try’ he sighed and said ‘okay babe, but when it gets painful for you I will stop at once’, my inner whore air punched, I pulled a drawer on the side of his bed and took out a lubricant, I started rubbing on his dick, he watched my each and every movement, I finished and handed it over to him, I lay on my stomach, he squeezed a little bit and smeared it around my asshole, he pushed some into the hole. Then he started pushing his dick into the hole, I tried to relax my muscles, At that point, my body said stop, so he pulled out and tried again with more lube, a different angle, I focused on my breaths and imagining my asshole opening up just a little bit more and a bit more and a bit more. We did this until we got about 3/4 of his dick in, and then I started feeling some pain. He took his time at removing his dick again, gave me a break, kissed me all over my body. I was hungry for more though, and I asked him to try again. He pushed it in, easily this time, he kept encouraging me “you are doing a great job babe” I relaxed he pushed in more, then we reached a point where it just seemed like there was no more room inside my asshole then he started moving in and out, in and out, in and out…. That time I was screaming, from both pain and pleasure, he slowly picked up the pace, It didn’t take long for me to reach orgasm, and when I did….holy fuck!  there was another building up on top of it, and I felt so wonderfully full and aroused and felt like a complete dirty whore, his dirty whore. He groaned, and puffed, my muscles clenched and contracted, he fucked harder, at this point I didn’t care if my asshole tears up, I screamed so loud and  I came so hard that I thought I might faint, it was epic! He fucked harder and harder and…. he yelled out my name he quickly pulled out his dick, removed the condom he flipped me over and sprayed his cum all over my torso. I laughed. We both laughed, he said ‘wow, I feel like a porn star’ I laughed and said ‘you are my porn star, my beautiful porn star and I love you’, he leaned over, kissed me and said ‘not as much as I love you, my beautiful princess’

After that, we took another bath and we spent the rest of the night curled up in bed, watching movies, talking, kissing until we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

This Valentines, give her a gift that cums in a box

Yes you read that right.

Gift = Dick

Box = Pussy :. If you still don’t get it, well I don’t know

What better way to spend Valentine’s day than messing around with your partner and fucking your brains out all day, I know that would make me happy, people say Valentine’s day is all about love, if that is not love then I don’t know what is.

I noticed that women ‘s expectations on Valentines days are now on another level, some women are actually expecting their partners to pull up on a horse and carriage thing and propose marriage, that shit only happen in the movies, no-one lives that fairy-tale for real!! Relationships are hard enough to sustain without all the romantic crap that “supposedly” spice things up. Even the film actors that feed you all the crappy ideas can’t maintain their own relationships. My point is: let’s not put unnecessary pressure on relationships, be as simple as possible, rather you do something that you will both enjoy, because let’s face it; fancy gifts can only make one person happy in a relationship, the one on the receiving end. Gifts cost money, money cause complications, and complications break relationships. Trust me, you don’t wanna go there.

Happy fucking !!

Dirty Saturday

This is a diary entry........

So last Saturday I was woken up by a phone call from my boyfriend saying he’s coming over for a morning kiss before heading off to work, We had n’t had sex in a week and I was horny as fuck, I really needed to let off the steam. He has been working double shifts the whole damn week. I woke up to brush my teeth and went back to bed, and read my book while waiting

He came by around 6am, as he usually do. He parked his car outside and used his key to get in my house. The moment I saw him I was thinking about how much I wanted him to fuck me. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked me in the eye, “hello my love, I’m sorry to wake you up but I wanted to see your pretty face, to brighten up my day” I jumped onto his lap and I smiled as he caressed my cheeks, he kissed me, our tongues locked, I felt an overwhelming wave of affection, my bean pounded and my heart raced. I whispered to his ear “baby I missed you so much I want you, right here, right now” he moaned something like “I missed you too babe” and I felt his dick swell underneath his jeans, I grabbed it and squeezed real hard, I was feeling so hot I could barely move. I started unzipping his jeans and his dick sprung out, He pushed me onto my bed as he looked at me He pulled my pajamas off revealing my naked body to him, as we kissed He started fingering me pushing his two fingers into my wet pussy, I moaned at his fingers working inside me. He told me he couldn't wait to feel his dick deep inside me. He tossed me and leant over me fingering my dripping wet pussy from behind. I was moaning heavily pushing my pussy on to him. I came hard onto him, my juices flowing onto his fingers. He licked them, that was the sexiest thing ever.

 I just couldn't wait to return the favour, I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him riding his waist and kissed him and started moving down his body kissing down his chest and stomach and I took off his jeans and boxers, very seductively I stood at the foot of the bed, with my naked body exposed to him, I pulled him by the hand so he can sit upright, I kissed him in the mouth then I moved my tongue further down, I started teasing his tip with my tongue, he moaned, then all around his balls licking them before I put his lengthy dick in my mouth, I wrapped my lips tightly around it and swallowing the pre-sex juices, his dick hit against the back of my mouth and  sliding down my throat making me gag a little. I loved it. That moment he was grabbing me by my hair and groaning like a sick puppy. He thrust into my mouth roughly fucking my pretty mouth. I groaned with my mouthful it was fuckin amazing and I was sucking for dear life until he exploded in my mouth, his cumshot slided straight down my throat and I swallowed quickly, he was breathing heavily, then he kissed me and said “That was amazing bay girl, now is my turn to satisfy you”

He carefully laid me on my back and spread my legs wide in the air, he pulled “his” condom collection on the bedside drawer and ripped one open, he put the condom on and pushed his dick hard into my hole while kissing me passionately. He thrust so hard I let about a loud scream, it felt heavenly. He fucked me hard as I dug his back scratching hard down his shoulders. I pleaded for him to fuck me harder, he took the instruction well and pounded my pussy as hard as he could, I screamed so fuckin loud I thought the neighbor would come knocking on my door, I felt a wave of orgasm rushing through my body, I yelled out his name, my pussy tightened and released, I was on cloud nine, I could actually feel the hot juices dripping down my pussy, he pulled out quickly suppressing the pressure to cum.  He tossed me over and started fucking me on all corners pounding my pussy hard from behind as he grabbed my ass He pounded my pussy until I was screaming that I was going to cum, my pussy spasmed against him as I orgasmed hard around his dick and he yelled out my name and came.  We collapsed on top of each other kissing each other all over the place. After what seemed like an hour, he decided he won’t be going to work anymore, he made a few phone calls, and we were free to fuck the whole day. And we did exactly that.

My Story

This is a diary entry......
I am 26 years old.
I feel like I have to stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about myself that I don’t like. 
I’m feeling insecure, I wonder where I will be in a year or two, but then I get scared because I don’t know where I am right now. 
I've realized that people are selfish; the friends I thought were my close friends aren't exactly the greatest people I have ever met and the people I have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. 
I miss the comforts of having someone to depend on (my late mom), even though she didn't have much to provide me with but she gave me life, values and pride.


I’m beginning to understand myself, my opinions have gotten stronger. I see what other people are doing, I find myself judging them because suddenly I realize that I have certain boundaries in my life. 
I am in my best of times and my worst of times. 

I’m very insecure; I laugh and cry with the greatest force of my life. 
I feel alone, scared and confused. When I look at the mirror I see the emptiness in my soul.
I try to cling on to the past with dear life but I soon realized that the past is drifting further and further away, there is nothing else I can do, I only have one option in this…to move forward. 

This is my story.

clutter to calm

This is a diary entry.......

I have been feeling a little anxious lately, I feel like the essence of life is slipping away from me.
I have a perception that life is accelerating, I feel that way because I have had so many changes introduced into my life at an extraordinary rate. 

The number of changes in my life seems to be growing everyday, from a life-draining job, huge family obligations, toxic people and situations . I have a compelling desire to just break free from all of that and go somewhere quiet where I can think deeply about my purpose on this earth, I want to awaken my creative nature, I want to unclutter my life, to eliminate bad energies and start living again.